Friday, June 7, 2013

92. Three Sentences About A Life

You are at work when the call comes you have been expecting it and your sister says you better get on the plane RIGHT NOW and you are like oh God this is it and the whole flight you are praying for her not to die you want her to at least live long enough that you can see her one more time and say goodbye at least say goodbye and apologize to her not for one specific thing but you guess for your entire relationship and you swear it is the longest flight ever and then when you get there and your brother picks you up he tells you how bad it really is and when you finally FINALLY get to the house she can barely breathe but she is alive still alive and talking a little bit and she totally knows who you are and you sit up with her all night even though the hospice nurse is there by this point and you get no sleep and the nurse says you should really consider giving her some morphine but your sister doesn’t want to and your brother does you are on the fence the whole thing is such a blur so fast and yet so slow and so many memories in that house too. 
Your mom dies five days later. 

You are there. 

trifecta writing challenge/ tell a complete story in 3 sentences


  1. Wow, I think you win for the longest sentence I've ever read!

  2. This is the perfect parallel pacing to life: go, go, go, go, keep going, still going, slow go, snail go. Stop. Breathe. I enjoyed this.

  3. It's nice how the last two sentences contrast with the first in tone. Great job!

  4. The structure of the three "sentences" is what makes this story what it is. The frentic, stream-of-conciousness of the opening perfectly contrasts with the restful, peaceful final two sentences, whereball thatnneed be said, is said, and nothing more. Well done.

  5. I think I was holding my breath through the whole of that first sentence. Powerful stuff here.

    Thank you for linking up!

  6. Very well done. I think it perfectly portrays one's thought process at a time like this.

  7. The urgency of the first contrasted with the finality of the next two is magnificent.

  8. WTF? Why are these cold hearted comentors above saying these things and not offering sympathy...
    oh der! Your mum didn't REALLY pass away...did she? If she didn't then bloody well done! If she did then OMG you guysm have a little compassion and I'm so sorry MOV.

    1. Thanks, Julie. She died on Oct 29. We had some issues and were not as close as I would have liked. I was there when she died, this essay is true.

  9. I can hear a lot of emotion as you try to grasp all that is happening. I like the contrast also between the full first sentence and the simplicity of the last two.

  10. Congratulations on your win with this most deserving entry...heartwrenching.


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