GOD, in the
form of a man dressed in a white seersucker suit, holds a white umbrella and walks
toward SATAN, also in the form of a man wearing a black tuxedo, carrying a
black umbrella.
GOD
You’re early. That’s a first.
You’re early. That’s a first.
SATAN
I wouldn’t want to be late for our meeting.
I wouldn’t want to be late for our meeting.
GOD
So … what’s with the tux?
So … what’s with the tux?
SATAN
I’m celebrating. It will be nice to have people worship me instead of despise me for a change.
I’m celebrating. It will be nice to have people worship me instead of despise me for a change.
GOD
(under his breath)
Don’t get your hopes up. A lot of people despise me.
(under his breath)
Don’t get your hopes up. A lot of people despise me.
SATAN
Okay, let’s get down to business. The swap won’t be for too long, just a thousand years this time. You can do whatever you want.
Okay, let’s get down to business. The swap won’t be for too long, just a thousand years this time. You can do whatever you want.
GOD
Really? You’re not going to micromanage me again? None of this “Don’t make anything worse than it already is”?
Really? You’re not going to micromanage me again? None of this “Don’t make anything worse than it already is”?
SATAN
Worse? You’re talking to me about worse? Ha! That’s rich.
Worse? You’re talking to me about worse? Ha! That’s rich.
GOD
Well, what is your plan, exactly?
Well, what is your plan, exactly?
SATAN
Come on, G, I reread the contract and you know I don’t have to give you specifics.
Come on, G, I reread the contract and you know I don’t have to give you specifics.
GOD
Sure, Satan, I know. I was just asking out of curiosity.
Sure, Satan, I know. I was just asking out of curiosity.
SATAN
I’m going to have fun with it. Some good people are going to win the lottery. A few diseases are going to go away.
I’m going to have fun with it. Some good people are going to win the lottery. A few diseases are going to go away.
GOD
You’re not as sinister as I thought.
You’re not as sinister as I thought.
SATAN
You?
You?
GOD
Well, the people that really deserve to be punished and not forgiven, they’re going to be punished.
Well, the people that really deserve to be punished and not forgiven, they’re going to be punished.
SATAN
Ouch. Well, you do what you gotta do.
Ouch. Well, you do what you gotta do.
GOD
(laughs)
I will. I’m looking forward to it.
(laughs)
I will. I’m looking forward to it.
SATAN
Can you take it easy on the natural disasters though? If I’m playing God, I don’t want to get blamed for that.
Can you take it easy on the natural disasters though? If I’m playing God, I don’t want to get blamed for that.
GOD
Who’s micromanaging whom?
Who’s micromanaging whom?
SATAN
Come on, you know what I mean.
Come on, you know what I mean.
GOD
We’ll see.
We’ll see.
SATAN
Is there anything else I should know?
Is there anything else I should know?
GOD
(reaches in pocket)
Oh, yeah, I almost forgot. Here are the keys to the other galaxies. You might need to hire some people.
(reaches in pocket)
Oh, yeah, I almost forgot. Here are the keys to the other galaxies. You might need to hire some people.
********
fabulous!
ReplyDeleteThank you, Elpoo! That is high praise coming from someone who is such a talented writer and has an awesome blog herself. I really admire your work. Thanks for taking the time to comment on mine. :)
Deletehahaha Now in whose hands is existence better off? ;)
ReplyDeleteI know-- really! Satan seems to have a soft side, and maybe God is the sinister one?
DeleteFun! I love the concept of this.
ReplyDeleteVery timely. The dialogue is great, and I liked the detail of their suits.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Tara!
DeleteVery fun take on this.
ReplyDeleteTania, thank you for taking the time to write. :)
Deletevery funny! refreshing to see a play instead of stories/poems too :)
ReplyDeleteThanks, Estelle. I meant it like a screenplay (movie), but maybe the stage is better??
DeleteI loved this so much I had to read it twice, just to really, really enjoy every word. Loved it.
ReplyDeleteAhhhh, high words of praise, indeed! I don't even read my own stuff twice (whihc is maybe why I need an editor?!).
DeleteYou are so imaginative!!! My husband asks me on a regular basis to explain to him "how my mind works". I don't think he means it necessarily in a good way...some of the time... though) I mean this in the most possible good way...I love how your mind works.
ReplyDeleteOh, Cheryl, you make me blush! Thank you so much.
DeleteI actually had this idea in the middle of the night. I was lying in bed wondering what I would write about, and the idea just came to me. I have never seen this idea done before. It would be fun as a full-length movie, all fleshed out.
I, too, love your playfulness here and also re-read! The dialog cracked me up as did the contract and 1000 year switch. Clever as always, MOV!
ReplyDeleteThank you so much, Gina! Your words always make me smile.
DeleteThis is terrific. Great concept and dialog. I love it!
ReplyDeleteThanks so much, Stephanie! I really appreciate it.
DeleteThis was great! Loved that Satan just calls God "G" -- and do I sense a hint of the presidential election with that "you know I don't have to give you specifics" line? Haha Nice job!
ReplyDeleteI had not thought of that (presidential election), but I can see how it could be interpreted that way........ hmm. Maybe in my subconscious I thought of it?
Deletedeep, yo.
ReplyDelete:)
Oh, this was neat. Not at all what I anticipated. Nice details (note, tux, contract) and terrific dialogue.
ReplyDeleteI love the "take it easy on natural disasters".
ReplyDeleteHow wonderful. I can imagine the conversation being just like this. Love it.
ReplyDeleteCool. I love stories about God and/or Satan that give them personalities and aren't bible stories. Reminds me a bit of those Incarnations books by Piers Anthony.
ReplyDeleteHaha, great! It's good to see an original idea put across so well.
ReplyDeleteI love the humor in this. The concept of God and Satan trading places for a time is unique. The description of their clothing at the beginning was perfect!
ReplyDelete"You might need to hire some people." Nice touch.
ReplyDeleteInteresting concept. Enjoyed!
ReplyDelete