108. Life's Great Mysteries

I drove past the gym,
It was a sunny day out,
Gym rats on treadmills.


(and here is a bonus haiku I dreamt up:)

Pancakes for breakfast!
Happy noise in the kitchen
Oops—out of syrup

(oh what the heck, have another!)

My feet are pounding
Running closer to my goal
Marathon next week!

(last one, I swear!)

Kids sleep, husband types.
I read my book undisturbed
A peaceful evening.

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trifecta Haiku (by the way, the title only refers to the first haiku, which is the one I am entering for the trifecta challenge........... the others were just for fun)

107. I Already Said Goodnight Two Hours Ago

Goodnight Moon,
Goodnight room,
Goodnight, I fake a smile,
Goodnight to the dirty laundry pile.

Goodnight toys, Goodnight boys,
Goodnight dear babes of mine,
Mommy really need a glass of wine.

(Now please.) 

 

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put a twist on a classic bedtime story in 33 words:  trifecta

106. Just a Simple Poem

Who came before
Who will be here after
Beyond the green door
We share familiar laughter

Nature reaches out
She whispers, never shouts
She holds me in her embrace
Kisses your angel face

 

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trifecta writing challenge/ 33 words about a nature photo

 

 

105. A Story About Old Men, Donuts, Teenage Hearthrobs, and Why I Hate Fundraisers

When I was in eighth grade, we had to sell donuts for a school fundraiser.

My best friend Charlene and I knocked on the door of the first house.  No answer.  Nobody answered at the second house either.  This pattern repeated itself for the next 20 houses.  Finally someone opened her door.  Charlene recited the spiel. 

The woman hissed, “I’m diabetic,” then slammed the door.   

At another house, an elderly man answered. 

“Hello,” I squeaked, “Donuts for sale!” 

He took pity on us and wrote a check for five boxes.  He craned his neck to look past us.  “Where are the donuts?”

“We’ll deliver the donuts in three weeks,” explained Charlene with a fake smile.  “You pay now.” 

He grabbed the check back and ripped it up.  “Wait for donuts?  What kind of scam is this?”  He tried to slam the door, but a ferret escaped.  He hobbled after it.

“Catch Doris!” he cried. 

Charlene chased that ferret like she was on Animal Control’s payroll.  This rude man was going to see what a helpful person Charlene really was, and what a big mistake he’d made.  The ferret ran up a tree and Charlene began to climb. 

This was the moment Kent Richenberg appeared.  Captain of the basketball team, on the student council, gorgeous. 

“Why is your friend in my grandpa’s tree?!?”

Charlene caught the ferret.  It looked like a cross between an ugly squirrel and a raccoon.  I was terrified.  Charlene shimmied down the tree, holding the ferret triumphantly by the scruff of its neck. 

“Thank you!” exclaimed Kent.  “Gramps loves that ferret!”

Before I could grasp what was happening, the ferret sprang out of Charlene’s hands and landed on me, taking a chunk of my flesh with its razor-sharp teeth. 

The next thing I remember, Kent, Charlene, Gramps, and neighbors who’d been hiding in their houses avoiding buying donuts, were hovering over me.  The ambulance arrived and I noticed blood covering my arm.

I was excused from selling donuts after that.    

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trifecta writing challenge/ exactly 333 words/ required word is "grasp"

104. Say "Cheese"

I made an appointment with a new dentist who came highly recommended.  When I met her, she chatted enthusiastically, revealing an almost-perfect smile. 

Wish someone warned me about the one rotten front tooth.    

 

 

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trifecta writing challenge/ 33 words/ required word is "tooth"

103. How to Rob a Bank Without Really Trying

I’d only worked at First National for about three years when it happened.  An elderly customer, Mrs. Oakton, came in and asked to speak to me privately in my office.  I took her coat, shut the glass door, and pulled out a chair for her.    

“Theo,” she said, handing me an envelope, “I need your help.” 

I thought maybe there was a document she wanted me to notarize, but instead it was a cashier’s check from B of A for 1.2 million dollars, in my name:  Theodore James Davis. 

She leaned back in her chair.  “Can you recommend the best way to invest the money?  This is what my deceased husband left me.” 

I was about to tell her that she should’ve had the check made out to the bank or herself, not me, and that I wasn’t that savvy with investments, but I could refer her to a certified financial planner, when she had a coughing fit.  I offered her some water, but she waved me off.  She reached into her purse and pulled out a tin of cough drops, inhaling one quickly. 

To my horror, her cough escalated into choking and her face turned blue.  I ran behind her chair and attempted the Heimlich maneuver. 

“Sharon!” I screamed out for my assistant, “Call 911!” 

The ambulance arrived quickly.  The paramedics did their best to band together to save her, but I knew she was dead even though legally they cannot say it until they get to the hospital. 

I’d forgotten all about the check until I got home that night and felt the envelope in my pants pocket.  I must have put it there in all the confusion. 

I probably would have returned the check if First National had not fired me.  They said I did not do enough to save her.  Screw them, I tried! 

B of A had no problem wiring the money to my new account in Canada.  Turns out, I am fairly savvy with investments after all.          

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trifecta writing challenge/ exactly 333 words/ required word is "band"

 

 

102. Paul Newman's Eyes

Pool party

Utah sky
Ocean spray

Cool aqua
Yosemite blue
Champion cobalt

Teardrop
Blue jean
Sapphireberry
Turquoise powder

Forget me not
I want them all

Why does Benjamin Moore make it so difficult?

 

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trifecta weekend challenge, pick a color